An Ode to Brussels Sprouts

I've been on a real cooking spree lately.  The problem with that is that I am quickly tiring of my side dishes.  You can only eat so much broccoli, spinach, or side salad.  I got adventurous this week when I saw some fresh brussels sprouts at the grocery.  Ed said that his mom used to make them when he was growing up and they were one of his favorite veggies.  I was hesitant, mostly because I remember hating them as a child, but also because I've never made them from "scratch" before.  But I figured hey, I'll give it a shot.  Maybe my taste has matured since I last ate them, which was circa 2003, when I moved out of my parent's house.  My mom made us Jones kids suffer at the dinner table about twice a year when she'd serve them.  I hated walking into the kitchen and having that sulfurous smell smack me in the face, knowing it was going to be a long night before I finally got the courage to eat them and be dismissed.  To make matters worse, my mom would make us drink milk for dinner.  Milk + Brussels Sprouts.  Sick!  And then to top it off, the icing on the cake, my mom never made my dad eat his brussels sprouts.  She'd always put them on his plate, but he'd ignore them and she wouldn't say a word.  I couldn't wait til the day I was a grown up and got to choose what I ate!  Luckily, we had a crazy cat growing up that lived for brussels sprouts night.  When mom wasn't looking, we'd "accidentally" drop one on the ground and our cat would run over and go to town with it.  And once she'd gotten the taste of one, she spent the rest of the dinner trying to jump on the table to steal them off our plates.  It was awesome.

After about an hour of online recipe searching, I decided on what looked like the best way to make them.  Every recipe I read emphasized the importance of not over-cooking them because that is what caused the sulfurous smell to be released.  I was encouraged.  Maybe there was hope for this vegetable after all.  I boiled them in 1/2 inch water for 7 minutes (recipe called for 8 minutes), then threw them into some butter and garlic and let them sizzle for a few minutes.  They smelled heavenly.  Ed kept remarking how great the kitchen smelled.  I was genuinely excited.  This was about to be breakthrough.  I had sworn off brussels sprouts from my diet for the last 8 years. 

Alas, they were just as bad as I had remembered.  The outer layers that had gotten soaked in butter and garlic were pretty tasty, but those inner layers were as bitter and nasty as ever.  Ed, being the sweet heart that he is, acted like he was enjoying them for the first few.  He even threw in a "mmmmmm...delicious!" remark.  By the third one, I was almost gagging.  I told him it was ok, he didn't have to lie, and he slowly let his guard down and agreed that they were repulsive.  We then argued on who had to eat the rest of them since we don't like to waste food.  Luckily, Ed suggested putting some hot sauce on them to mask the flavor, and it worked!  They weren't half bad after that.  Thank goodness I served a delicious pot roast and fruit salad along with those brussels sprouts, or else it would have been my worst failure yet as a wife.

Needless to say, I am not going to make my poor husband or kids suffer through a meal with brussels sprouts.  It's inhumane - cat food, I tell you.  Unfortunately, this just leaves me right where I was before - in dire need of new vegetable side dishes.  Please, help a young wife out!  :)